BACKGROUND: A very angry/sad member of the CIA recounts the brutal killing of his family. At first he explains his hunt for the killer, only to realize that his cause is hopeless and that he must kill himself to ease the pain.
This monologue was quickly thrown together, and much improvisation may be needed to further enhance the emotions and get the monologue to match the music [next paragraph]. HOWEVER, the monologue can also be used as is. You may have to read through it slowly, out loud, with no emotion a few times before you can really take on the challenge of this dramatic monologue.
Try saying it along with the song "Clubbed to Death" by Rob Dougan. Try to match up the first paragraph with the string introduction to the song (00:00-00:25). Match up the middle paragraph with the intense body of the song (00:25-02:55). Match up the last paragraph with the sad piano interlude of the song (02:55-4:00)
Character: An enraged CIA official recounts the death of his family, leading him to kill himself by the end of the monologue.
[Said quickly and quietly but despairingly] They’re gone. [Louder with anger] They’re all gone! (Pause) [Yelled] NOTHING can get them back… [Suddenly sad] Nothing… (Pause) [Sadly] But I can avenge them, (pause) and I will… If it’s the last thing I do… [Determinedly] I know I will… I will find him.
How would you feel if you came home one night to find your wife and kids lying on the floor in a pool of their own blood? How would you feel knowing that you weren’t there to help them? Knowing it was your own fault they were left alone. She asked me not to go… Why didn’t I listen to her?? The worst part is that it was a lie!! It wasn’t a business trip; it was a golf trip… The last thing I did while she was alive was lie to her… But whoever did this is going to pay. It was almost two years ago… I have my own special units team assembled. You don’t mess with a man in the government. The note found at the scene from whoever this was is going to be the key to finding him. He was smart, no fingerprints, no bullets, no evidence but one single hand-written note… It looks like he wrote it with his left hand, though… It’s almost illegible, but still, handwriting is handwriting no matter what hand you use. We thought we had found a match once. The suspect didn’t make sense though… It was someone I didn’t know. I’d never met. Why would he want to kill my wife and kids and leave a note with my name on it? Last week we got a lead. A voice recording sent to my office. It was heavily distorted, but you don’t mess with a man in the government. A specialized audio investigation team has been hired to un-distort the voice on the tape. With that voice, an even better lead. I can’t think of who the suspects could be… Not that I can’t think of anyone who would want to hurt me, just that the list goes on and on… It could be anyone. I’ve done a lot of bad things in my life and hurt a lot of people… But still, you should never mess with someone in the government. ....
But it has been almost two years… I can make sure I find and kill the person who did this, but what for? It won’t bring back my kids… My wife… I’ll never see them again, until I die… Perhaps I’ve been hunting the wrong person all alone… I still won’t win even if I find and kill the person responsible for this… He will still have won… I’ll still have failed. I can’t stand seeing myself fail my family again… Maybe it’s time I put an end to this… No one wins. My team will still be searching for him… Maybe they can find and kill him… They don’t need my help… But I do need my family… I don’t need my life to be with them… I don’t need anything… (Go into the drawer and grab a knife, scissors, etc.) Don’t worry honey… I know you miss me… I miss you, too. But don’t worry, I’m coming home… (Raises the knife). Daddy’s trip is over kids… He’s coming home.